got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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