Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
