Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
