is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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