I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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