What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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