I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
