Screwed.edu
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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