I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
