What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
