you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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