Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
