Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
