Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
