Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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