if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sober January is a disaster.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
