Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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