guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
