ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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