every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
