Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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