i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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