I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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