god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
