i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
