You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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