Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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