Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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