What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
