Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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