so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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