i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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