I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize