Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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