i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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