I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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