Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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