my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
