and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
