im about as happy as oj after his trial
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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