Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
