Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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