Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
