What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
