Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
