So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
