what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
