to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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