Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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