I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
