you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
