Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
