I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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