pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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