She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're using joints as your birthday candles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
