whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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