i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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