His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
