it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
