Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
