one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I am morally bankrupt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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