When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize