Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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