I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize